Getting Pregnant By Tricking Men--The Way of Sick, Evil Women (Ian Daly, Details Mag, November 2006, pg. 90-92)

| 24 Comments

couple_fighting.jpg

You two were careful, but somehow she got pregnant. It happens. Or not... Getting tricked into fatherhood by a woman hell-bent on getting pregnant is much more common than you think.--from Details

Fellas, professional women nearing 30-yrs-old are apparently the worse. This is subject of November feature story in Details Magazine called: THAT WAS NO ACCIDENT.

Evidence number 234,524,289 that living God's way is not only right but the best possible way to live. This would never be an issue if people pursued the best way to live.

Any woman that tricks a man like this is pure evil. And some of these evil women then sue the guy for child support. Sick.

From the article: "Imagine for a moment this perfectly plausible scenario: You've had a steady girlfriend for a year or so and everything's going great. You still hold hands at the movies. Friends tell you you're good together. You're both around 30 years old and making plenty of money, maybe living together, but you're nowhere near considering fatherhood. And though you occasionally get the feeling that her biological clock is set far ahead of yours, she tells you she's "safe," so you don't worry. Why would you?

It's not as if you'd just picked her up on Dollar Margarita Night at Seńor Frog's. But one morning she tells you something has gone wrong. Unlikely as it sounds, she's pregnant-and she wants to keep it. What she doesn't tell you, though, is this: She wasn't being safe all along. She wanted to have that baby— and the way she saw it, this was the only way to make it happen."

And some how living God's way is worse than having to deal with this?

One of these sick women said this:

"I see and hear people talk about it, and I understand. I get it," she says, "and I don't even think it's that manipulative. It's more like, 'Hey, the timing is right for me. I got pregnant—oops! Well, it's here, let's have it.' I think that's more the way it is now than it was back in the day when you had to marry someone before you got pregnant. Marriage doesn't matter now."

Marriage doesn't matter now? Riiiight, yeah, what God lays out is worse than thinking and living like this? Really?

The article explains how this leads to abortion when the deceived guy totally freaks out and forces termination.

Aight, fellas, thoughts?

24 Comments

"forces termination"

que? how's that possible?

physically threatens and/or emotionally manipulates. . . it happens

Just another example of why it's better to keep things in your pants until you're married. The current sexual situation in our society just puts the pressure on for manipulation and deceit. And how sad that these women can't see why what they're doing is just an act of betrayal. Were it possible for the shoe to be on the other foot, most of them wouldn't stand for it.

I'm with dramaturge on this one. I don't have much sympathy for guys getting in this situation. This is one of the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Not to excuse the deceptive women, but it takes two to tango.

This affects more than just the man and woman involved in creating a new life. It then becomes a family system thing to deal with: grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, etc. If a young woman does this selfishly, she has NO idea what she's getting herself into.

Why the heck are guys getting to be 30 years old and they have yet to step up to the plate and commit to marriage? Is it possible that these ladies have been led poorly by weak and passive Sons of Adam in our culture and churches who can't commit to a job for more than 6 months let alone the responsibility of an Ephesians husband who lays down his life for his wife and family?! I'm sorry, this is a guy issue. Yes it is evil for a woman to play this game but why are they playing the game in the first place? Men in church and this culture are too much like Jerry Seinfeld (selfish, non-committal, and blame shifting)--find a Godly woman and commit to her and have children...in other words grow up and take some responsibility!

Aaron,

I agree with most of what you have to say. Its true that men in our culture absolutely suck. However, I think single Christian men just get a bad rep sometimes. Most non-committal young single men are the type that would never go near a church.

I am 24 and single. I've had three girlfriends break up with me over the past two years. All essentially gave me the "You're a great guy but I'm just not ready for a serous relationship yet" line. In reality, I think they just don't want to date a guy that would challenege them spiritually. I have several buddies who go through the same experiences.

Maybe I'm just too young and I'll find women changing thier attitudes once they get near 30, but for now, this is frustrating me, expecially with so many Christian commentators saying its the men who have to step up and are essentailly giving the women a free pass.

Andy: hang in there, she will come to you when the time is right, a woman worthy of your gifts and calling.

Aaron: pretty judgemental and in a really bad way. No man is less a man, no less a Godly man for choosing to wait until he is ready for marriage, no matter the age. God’s calling on each man is his own. Paul was not called to marry. Are you saying he was weak and spiritually lacking?

As for the blog entry, I can see it happen. I dated a few women in my single days, that I could absolutely see pulling a stunt like what is described here. The women posting entries say “keep it in your pants,” easy enough when no one wants in. I found women were attracted to me because of my spirituality – one even confessed it got her hot and ready at times. The flesh is tough. I agree with Anthony’s advice to live the way God intends for us to live, but keep in mind, the flesh is tough.

Anthony, great picture for the entry. I have seen that look before (the womans look). It sucks.

Jon, I would argue that Paul was married prior to writing some of his letters where he talks about his singleness. (Maybe he was a widower or his wife left him when he got saved.) I have heard the excuse that I'm waiting to get married until the time is right or the woman is right. Most of the time it is from guys who blog all day about taking over the world and their still living at mom's house.

You judged me and said I was judgmental for critically commenting on an article where women have this power to seduce a man and get pregnant and the man is somehow the victim??!!

Andy, you can't control the women in your life and you sound like a guy who is pursuing women with some integrity. That's all you can do. My comments are directed at the wee-men who are looking for just that "perfect one" or like being single and don't want a marriage relationship with a woman to "screw up their life". There's plenty of those cats in Christendom.

Personally, I've been assisting (financially and otherwise) at crisis pregnancy centers for about 15 years now, and it's true that it's often the young lady who initiates now, more so than before. It's also true that men do threaten the lady in their life to get abortions done--the threat can range from "I'll leave you" to the grossest physical violence.

And it should come as little surprise that a woman of 30--fertile since 15--might do this. Postponing adulthood hardly affects the maternal instinct.

Aaron, where'd you get this: "Jon, I would argue that Paul was married prior to writing some of his letters where he talks about his singleness. (Maybe he was a widower or his wife left him when he got saved.)"

Just curious? I hadn't heard that before.

Aaron, did it ever occur to you that perhaps some of the men you speak of do desire to get married, but just aren’t finding it as easy to accomplish as you evidently did? As a Christian male who is pushing 30, I want nothing more than to find a wife and raise a family. But I haven’t succeeded yet, so evidently I still live with my mother. Argghhh. It is bad enough to get mocked by my secular friends of coworkers for even having these desires, without having fellow Christians add their ridicule. Seriously, most of the fellow single men I attend church with desire marriage as well. And the few times you hear some say something along the lines of “happy being single” I suspect what you are really hearing is someone trying to put a positive spin on something they really aren’t too thrilled about. You assert that there are plenty of “wee-men” and “those cats” in the church, but I can’t help but wonder if this is either your imagination or you taking an overly generous definition of the church. (Note to self: must stop reading Christians sites so I don’t get so depressed.)

DanL, I hear ya. No worries. Aaron is probably one of those guys that got married right out of college and has no idea what's it really like to be pushing 30 and single. Typically I find that those who got married in their early 20s are pretty clueless about the fact that the older you get, the more difficult finding someone becomes. Those that "did it right" will use their own experience to evaluate yours. Pay no attention to them.

Also, in most cultures in the world, esp. Latin, children stay at home with their parents until they get married regardless of their age AND it's what is expected. Perhaps only in the use is there some sort of odd stigma with remaining close to your family until one "leaves and cleaves."

I say, enjoy your parents as long as you can and family life with them as an adult because one day they won't be around.

All right, guys. I don't think Aaron was trying to bash guys that want to get married, but can't find a godly woman who wants to commit to them. I'm pretty sure (at least, this is how I read most of what he wrote) that he's criticizing the single 30-somethings that would be in a relational position to get their girlfriend pregnant, but haven't/won't step up to the marriage plate. That's my guess. And I would have to agree on some level. How many times have you met couples who have been dating for 5 years or so (post-college), yet there are no plans for marriage. I can see that a girl would get frustrated. Yet even still, the problem comes back to sex. While it may sound kind of crude, what my father has always said is true: why buy the cow if the milk is free? If you're pretending to be married already, many guys aren't going to see the point of stepping up to the real thing.

And as soon as I posted that, I realized I shouldn't have just said "guys" in the last sentence. Anymore, there are probably almost as many gun-shy women as men. I do feel, though, that if the man is being the right kind of leader in the relationship, usually the woman will be less hesitant about commitment.

I keep doing this. Today doesn't seem like the day I'm going to get all my thoughts down in a row. :)

Andy, if you're ready for a serious commitment and you can't seem to find a girl your age who is, perhaps you should consider dating women a few years older? Just a thought.

I think I was pretty clear in indicating that guys like Andy are pursuing women with integrity. I am commenting on the article which portrays men as saps who like an ox going to slaughter are seduced get a woman pregnant and then play the role of the victim of the "evil" woman that seduced him.

I am tainted by the fact that I work directly with Christian single men and it is clear that many of them (not all) are selfish and lack the spine to commit to a woman.

Anthony, you took a cheap shot at me when I have not taken a personal cheap shot at any one on your blog. I have commented in general about Christian guys who can't commit and related my comments to the article. What's up? Is it true or not that Christian men can be passive and there is an epidemic of Christian guys who can't commit to their church or to a woman in marriage? My experience in the church and research tells me that it is true.

By the way, I was almost 29 when I got married. During my twenties I pursued two women with as much honor as I could. One broke my heart and the other is my dream girl. I made a general statement about age to make a point for those who are not stepping up to the commitment plate because of selfishness or narcissism. If the shoe fits wear it and if it doesn't, don't take my comments personally. If you are going to be critical be critical of my line of argument without making it personal. Come on, let's reason together on this one and be reasonable in the process.

Anthony, my statement about Paul not being single his whole life (widower or wife left him) comes from a historical argument of Paul's connection with the Sanhedrin and loosely from 1 Cor 9:5. The implication from this verse and from historical looks at the Sanhedrin could be he was married or then again maybe not. Scripture isn't clear that he was never married...it is only clear that he wasn't married at the time of his church planting journeys and letter writing.

Elmer Towns discusses this in his Bible Questions/Answers book...I can't remember the title...I am going through my files to find some good sources that make this line of argument.

Sorry, Aaron, I was more defending DanL than attacking you. Sorry if that seemed like a cheap shot. I wanted to affirm that it was ok for him to stay with his folks and that he may be stepping up but just striking out. Apologies, please forgive.

Yeah, I'd love to hear more about Paul's being married. Any citation you could provide would rock!

No problems. You are all my brothers!

"Is it true or not that...there is an epidemic of Christian guys who can't commit to...a woman in marriage?"

I haven't seen evidence for an "epidemic."

I know that the bulk of the so-called "man shortage" in churches occurs in the 60+ age bracket as men die off before their wives.

My own experiences aside, I just watched a guy who seems to have what anyone would want get rejected by throughly average (at best) young woman at church. And then we have the guys with decent educations and good jobs but who lack fashion sense and social skills.

Men learn to be men by being held accountable, even if they are caught off gaurd.

You want to play, you have to pay. Don't want to be a daddy? Keep in your holster, cowboy.

Additional thought: We have a great opportunity to preach useful wisdom in a fallen world. Look at the pap being served by the lost.

Leave a comment

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Anthony Bradley published on November 20, 2006 4:17 PM.

Good Times At ETS and Why I Hate Going To D.C. was the previous entry in this blog.

Oops Kramer, You Can't Use The N-word is the next entry in this blog.

Ant.jpg

ANTHONY BRADLEY, PH.D.
Executive Editor
@drantbradley

Jasper.png

JASPER ABBOTT, J.D.
Senior Contributor
@jasperabbott

Brian.png

BRIAN HEWES
Managing Editor
@bhewes

norman.png

NORMAN MAYNARD
Contributor
@metadoxy

Shawn.png

SHAWN REED
Contributor

Abraham.png

ABRAHAM SANGHA
Contributor

ChrisS.png

CHRIS SCHAEFER
Contributor
@ChrisSchaef