May 14, 2008
Virtual Popularity Isn't Cool--It's Pathetic (Details Magazine)
Details Magazine has cool article about the pathetic nature of enjoying popularity on internet social networking sites. Who cares how many stupid friends you have?
Virtual Popularity Isn't Cool--It's PatheticIf you're staying up late "poking" other guys on social-networking sites and trying to collect online friends, it's time to reevaluate.
-By Ian Daly
-Photograph by Pascal AulagnerIt all started when Jeb added two of his old buddies, who knew each other, to his Facebook profile. One of them added Jeb as a friend but didn't add the other person—even though both were on Jeb's friend list. What ensued was a bizarre, jealousy-fueled fracas. Angry posts were left. Hate e-mails were sent. But this drama didn't unfold in a high school. Jeb is a 35-year-old marketing director in New York City. And his friends?
"They're 35 and 36," Jeb says. "They both had great jobs, both had two children—but then all of that was completely forgotten and they were back to sophomore year. It was total regression."
Sadly, stories like Jeb's are becoming all too familiar. In a few short years, Facebook has leaked out of the college dormitory like some rare tropical disease and has begun infecting grown men in disturbingly vast numbers. The fastest-growing demographic among Facebook's 64 million users is those over 25. More than half of MySpace's 110 million users are older than 35. The hosts, once infected, exhibit a tendency to "superpoke" each other, hyperventilate over friend counts, and share their thoughts about the latest episode of The Hills with hundreds of near strangers—behavior normally associated with teenage girls, not men in the middle of their fourth decade. . .
"I'd say 90 percent of my friends have that silly page, putting 'funny' pictures of themselves half-naked and drunk on them," says Michael Lupo, 26, a marketing director in Manhattan who says he's never given in to their pleas to join them. "There are so many bad attempts at being quasi-famous. These people who have like 10,000 friends? I'm like, 'But they're not your friends—you do realize that. You don't hang out, and you don't know anything about them besides what's on their Facebook page.'"
Read the rest of this good article here.
This is so true. Cyber-friends are a lot easier to have than real ones, in person!
Posted by anthony at May 14, 2008 09:21 AM | TrackBackheh, I was at a gathering and 1 of my "real" friends was talking to one of his "real" friends all about their facebook friends. which is not unusual I'm sure, but both these guys are old enough to be my dad (meanwhile, I've never been on facebook). these kids and their newfangled technologies.
Posted by: bobw at May 14, 2008 09:45 AMAs someone who was addicted to the Facebook frenzy, and have recently gotten out, I think this article is sad but true.
Posted by: Tim at May 14, 2008 10:23 AMCouldn't agree more. There's a big difference between having people know who you are and being known. Virtual community is a pathetic replacement for actual community and friendship...sorta like the difference between Madden 08 and actually playing football.
Posted by: Chas at May 14, 2008 11:53 AMDear Anthony,
What the hell are u talking about? I love facebook, myspace and all the other dating sites I am on! They make me feel like I am a really popular, confident and outgoing man.
Sincerely, The Passive Introvert
Yeah, I would argue that social networking sites are actually destroying community rather than propagating it. This article is a good read for anyone interested in going deeper:
http://www.thenewatlantis.com/publications/virtual-friendship-and-the-new-narcissism
Posted by: Doug N at May 14, 2008 03:50 PMYes, I am nursing an ever-increasing hatred of Facebook. As Doug N said, I am in full agreement that these social networking things are destroying community. I have something like 142 "friends" on Facebook, a list which I constantly purge. One of my major annoyances is people who wish to add me as a friend (often those I knew in elementary of high school) and then make no effort at communicating with me. Their motives are obvious, then. To think that someone measures their social status by the number of friends they have accumulated on Facebook or MySpace.
Ridiculous.
By the way, Anthony, I logged on earlier to day and saw in the news feed, "Anthony Bradley and Covenant Theological Seminary are now friends." I laughed hard. That's hilarious.
Posted by: Jake at May 14, 2008 04:44 PMI agree with most everything people have posted. But I do have to say...it is pretty sweet when old "real" friends find you. Even if you dont get emailing/IMing....at least you can quickly read through their profile to see what they are up to...
Maybe this is consistant with shallow relationships, but you cant have deep relationships with everyone you meet.
I do agree that it is dumb that people act like they are in HS when they are on Facebook. Good thing I was a loser in high school... I dont have to worry about keeping my rep!!!! :)
Posted by: Frese at May 14, 2008 08:46 PMIt's about motives. If you actually want to brag about your friends, then you're kind of pathetic. but i have alot of facebook friends for other reasons: i work with college students, who are always moving, and whose emails and cellphones always change. Facebook is the best way to keep track of them. I also raise support, so it's an excellent way to update people on what I'm doing. In terms of keeping up with a network, facebook is SO much better than the old ways.
If it's a COMPLEMENT to social interaction, and not a REPLACEMENT, its really valuable.
And catching up with old high school friends can be pretty sweet too.
I love reading your blog, Anthony. It makes me feel like we're friends.
Posted by: randomguy at May 15, 2008 10:37 AMEven the pathetic has ironic and grace-ful uses at times. Most of American's society's developed norms around technology could be similarly critiqued and dismissed/mocked. As random guy inferred it certainly applies to blogging as much as facebook. . .
There is an interesting story told here in which even facebook might have redemptive purposes:http://falsani.blogspot.com/2008/05/godstuff-facebook-finding-sacred-place.html
Posted by: joel at May 17, 2008 04:05 PM