Matthew Murray, 24, was shot several times by a security officer at New Life Church on Sunday, but his death was ruled a suicide, the El Paso County Coroner's Office concluded after an autopsy.
Fellas, I've collected several posts from nghtmrchld26, thought to be Matthew Murray, from the ex-Pentecostal website "Azusa Street Survivors" There is a lot of pain and anger on that site. It seems that what they all need a strong dose of teachings about Grace. Here's an post from last spring reply to another post he read.
nghtmrchld26
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Posts: 31
(5/31/07 6:31 pm)
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Re: Ex-UPCI They ruined my daughter!!
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I went through something very similar to what you're daughter is going through at age 17. I am a young adult now.I remember a few months before I turned 17 I was having serious doubts about how to be saved and whether I had lost my salvation and/or committed the unpardonable sin. I searched all the Matthew Henry's commentaries, talked with pastors, looked up every verse on salvation......yet only found contradictions and more questions. The depression over my "salvation" and where I would spend eternity started sinking in.......in addition to all the other depression and flashbacks from the other pentecostal abuse.
A few months after I turned 17 I was completely despondent believing I had nothing left to live for since I was going to hell anyways and that God was going to curse me with sickness and poverty/homelessness since I had lost my salvation. I called prayer lines, went to prayer meetings, saw counselors, tried anti-depressants ;NOTHING would touch this depression. I had completely lost all hope and not because of some chemical imbalance as pills could NOT answer any questions about my salvation; and whether I could gain it back. This went on for over 8 months with constant thoughts of depression and hopelessness. No one anywhere had any answers for me except to say;you just have to have faith, stay on meds, and ;just stop feeling that way.;
So I pretended like everything was better. . .;instead of being depressed, get out and help someone.; So I got involved in a church ministry and soon got into the YWAM /Kings Kids track after that, which is a whole different story. After about 8~13 months of this depression episode I found a way to make it all clear up? I had to simply just say this view of salvation is NOT true and I'm not going to believe it anymore; Of course, if the other Christians had found out they would have called me a heretic and condemned me. After that, well, I had to find something else to believe in and that took a long time.
I attend a church that has in one of its booklets explaining rudimentary Christianity an entire section on "losing your salvation" by committing sin. It is very, very sad, and they will get quite upset if you challenge the doctrine of "losing salvation" or "free will."
Posted by: Bill T. at December 12, 2007 01:22 PMBill, wow, how can I get a copy of that?
Posted by: Anthony at December 12, 2007 02:05 PMWow! i was talking to a friend today and, as far as Baptists are concerned and many Pentecostals, those faith traditions are answering existential questions with metaphysical answers. So if you ask, "Why does God feel so far from me, or impersonal?" the answer usually is to quote some verse or axiom or say "Well u know who hasnt moved..."
A true failure... one which is hard to see how the damage done will be rectified. You see this damage done most at Baptist youth groups ( or youth groups in general) pentacostal getaway wknds, and kids "church" camps, where kids arent stupid, are thinking (hopefully asking) the right questions, and the church/group leaders are totally oblivious.
Posted by: STork at December 12, 2007 06:57 PMI think this is where evangelicalism has failed in general. Its not just about Penticostalism, even though it does have its share of problems. I am from a Penticostal Tradition, so I speak with some experience.
At the heart of the problem is the issue of questioning our faith. Evangelicals are taught as a whole to accept everything as truth.... be conifident in your salvation, etc. If you werent sure, or you questioned God then there is something wrong with your faith. This is unfortunate in so many ways, including the fact that its not Biblical. God embraces questions. Moses questioned Gods existence by challenging Him. Jesus on the cross asked the question, " My God, My God why has thou forsaken me?". There are statements such as, " Lord I believe, help my unbelief". You will find variations on this theme several places in the Word of God itself.. the same word we are told never to question. Even the Apostle Paul brought into question his own spirituality when he stated, " the law is spiritual, but I am carnal". The church needs to undergo a serious paradigm shift before more people fall by the wayside as a result of well meaning christians who dont believe its Ok to question faith, or just say " I dont know".
Posted by: Miles at December 13, 2007 08:11 AMI believe that these questions about assurance of salvation, etc. are rooted in the "evangelical conversion experience."
What we are witnessing is the end result of manipulative preaching, altar calls, and decisional regeneration (I made the choice to follow Jesus, I walked the aisle, I was baptized at the age of 12, etc.). Then, after the 'convert' jumps through these hoops, they are herded into meaningless youth groups where they receive a steady diet of evangelical pop culture instead of sound teaching and preaching.
I believe that this is only the tip of the iceberg as the children of evangelical baby boomers reject the church. Part of the rebellion is rooted in their fatigue with church as it has been fashioned by their parents (showy, plastic and lacking depth). Part of the rebellion is the result of never being grounded in the faith (and possibly receiving false assurances of salvation). This young man was very troubled and was lashing out at the very people whom he saw as the problem and not the ones who could answer his questions.
I agree that we need more teaching about grace but we also need more solid teaching in other areas too (law and gospel).
Posted by: Dave Sarafolean at December 13, 2007 09:31 AM