August 22, 2007
And That's Why She Smokes So Much Pot, Peter Was Right
He was 29 and nearly had his head severed while riding his 4-wheeler. He still died, however. Last night, I was at, what can now only be called, "my new spot." For reasons I can't explain, my server was totally open to me asking her all kinds of questions. I'll call her "Susan."
The egg plant soup was amazing, by the way.
Last April, her brother (I'll call him Jason) was riding his 4-wheeler late at night and, unbeknownst to him, an annoyed neighbor had erected BARBED WIRE on the trail to keep Jason from riding at night (he had done this before several times). Well, instead of the barbed wire simply knocking Jason off of his vehicle, the wire made contact with his chest, at 20mph or so, ran up his chest, and snapped his neck. The next morning his cousin found him dead on the trail.
Susan's fidgety at this point. She grabs a cigarette. Susan then started telling me that this has made her mom almost go nuts. I sat there, nearly balling, and then I realized that her family has little money, can't afford a lawyer, and it's likely that no one will pay for this crime.
Susan says that she deals with this by smoking a lot of pot. She doesn't get drunk because that's too depressing she said. "I need something to make me happy," she said. I just nodded my head confirming that I understood. I guess I was suppose to tell her that she is going to "burn in hell" if she doesn't stop smoking pot to medicate her pain and I forgot to tell her that she's gonna "burn in hell" if she doesn't become a Presbyterian and hate N.T. Wright and arminians and vote Republican. Oops. I suck at evangelism.
Then walks in Travis (not his real name) with a couple of the "regulars." After 45 minutes or so of Susan telling me more about her life (and her 14 and 11-year-old children with no father in the picture), Travis walks over to where I am and invites himself to sit right next to me.
At this point, I thinking "dude, don't come over here. I'm a conservative evangelical Christian. I'm not suppose to talk to strangers, especially if they're non-Christians."
So the three of us are talking (me, Susan, and Travis). Travis asked me "the question." You know the one, "so what do you do?" A few years ago I realized that only people who are hostile to Christians are other Christians and that all of my non-Christian friends have really never cared nor been thrown off by the kind of work I do.
So I told him and he said to me, "I was raised Catholic and I don't know a lot about religion." "What's the difference between being Catholic and Presbyterian?" And thinking to myself, "ohhhh, so this is what Peter was talking when he spoke of 'being ready to give a reason for the hope you have.'"
Now, I knew I had about 15 seconds before Travis would change the subject and that this was my only shot. So I sloppily presented "the difference" (i.e., I just used it to explain the gospel). And he didn't convert. I'm not good at this "insta-conversion" stuff like Erwin McManus is.
At the end of my presentation, Travis was like, "so, you guys believe in Jesus?" I was like, "yep!" Then Susan re-entered the conversation and we were off on another topic. I always wanted to be one of those guys that had cool conversion stories where people convert right there on the spot. I must suck at telling the story.
The other "regulars" started including me in the conversation. Look, I just dropped by to get some soup folks. Egg plant soup. Great stuff. By the end of the night, I had not only had some amazing soup but these people, I didn't know, let me into their story.
What????? Strangers do this??? Why can't more churches be like this? I've rarely been treated like this when I visited churches (or been at some churches for several months).
What if churches treated "strangers" like the folks in the restaurant treated me last night? They were authentic, honest, open-minded, welcoming of new people, etc.
Travis didn't tell me much of his story but I could tell he's open to my investigation. He's a bartender, 35, not married, no kids. He's got a story.
What was the most amazing is how the night ended. Around a 11 o'clock we all started to leave because "we've got work in the morning." I met the rest of "the regulars" as I walked out and then Susan says, "are you in?" I gave her the "what??" look. "Are you gonna be regular now??"
I said, "ahhh, sure." "Hey guys, we got another one," Susan celebrated. And literally there were cheers and hand-clapping. I was then extended the "right hand of fellowship." If this place had been a church I would have joined it last night.
Wouldn't it be awesome if churches were like this? I still can't figure out why non-Christians are so much more open and friendly than MANY Christians that I know.
Am I going back tonight? Is your church cold to strangers (haha)?
Posted by anthony at August 22, 2007 07:57 AM | TrackBacki have pondered this many times. I feel like in most Christians mind there is such a struggle to not judge people, that we inadvertently judge. So the friendliness quotient seems less.
Posted by: Jonathan at August 22, 2007 09:38 AMWow. Awesome story, bro. I'll avoid diluting it with my 2 cents.
Posted by: Brad at August 22, 2007 10:10 AMI agree with Jonathan about the judging thing. I'm never sure with a new group of Christians where that line is. If a say certain words or make certain jokes, am I going to be avoided? A lot of Christians forget that we're still sinners. What are the ages of the people you met. Another thing I think about churches is it is one of the few places in our society where teenagers and 80 year-olds hang out together for the same reason and these differences can lead to some akwardness and differences of opinion and, obvioulsy, some unwaranted judging, but where else do you see that. I also wonder if non-christians seems less judgmental simply because they have no standard by which to judge.
Posted by: Dave at August 22, 2007 10:16 AMHmmm, Jonathan, good stuff to think about!!
Posted by: Anthony at August 22, 2007 10:45 AMDave said, "I also wonder if non-christians seems less judgmental simply because they have no standard by which to judge."
Great points! And, I wonder if many aren't so concerned about being "right" that many are willing to "risk" not hanging out with people who don't think like they do on every issue.
Posted by: Anthony at August 22, 2007 10:47 AMMan, I can totally relate. It's one of those moments where you're like, 'Are these people really this open and friendly to talking about Christianity?' Back in Canada, almost all of my friends are non-Christians. Only something like 10% of the people I know grew up in churches. There are some people who got burned by churches and so don't really want to talk about it. But most of them are pretty open to the subject and like to talk about it.
Why is it then that I sometimes get freaked out and nervous about these conversations? Why do we automatically assume that other people are going to be hostile towards us? I know I make that assumption and I still can't figure out why.
This is a great story, Anthony.
Posted by: Jeff Kerr at August 22, 2007 11:47 AMThat's fabulous! My church is definitely not cold to strangers. My pastor makes an effort to meet people at their level. He is honest about who he is, but he is never judgmental--ie. "You're going straight to hell!" etc. It's something I really appreciate. His philosophy is that you can't expect unbelievers to live like anything other than unbelievers. He just talks to people. And he meets often at a coffeeshop with a group of unbelievers and those who've been burned by church just to talk. He's a great example of the way believers ought to be--after all, isn't that exactly the way Jesus was?
Posted by: dramaturge at August 22, 2007 01:08 PMAnthony, I have been in church all my life (and some pretty good ones) but as I read I found myself wanting to ask, "Where is this place?" I realized after I finished that the reason I wanted to know was that I want to be a "regular." That is the kind of community I long for.
Posted by: jared at August 23, 2007 01:14 AMNORM!!
Posted by: t.smith at August 23, 2007 01:26 AMwhat we think we have been called into is perfection and we look around at the people at our Churches and think that they must be perfect they look, act and talk like perfect people. So we put on our perfect mask and soon we find out that everyone else has on the mask too and it feels artificial because nothing or no one here on earth is perfect. We get frustrated when we are dying to show that we are not perfect and to see that others are not perfect but we keep playing the game because we feel that we will not be accepted if we are not. Or we quit playing the game and go find someplace else that seems real.
Posted by: Keith at August 23, 2007 03:49 PMAnthony, if you ever go to the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, put it on your blog before you go. I'd love to invite you to my church.
I live out in the middle of nowhere (northwest Wisconsin) with the typical middle-of-nowhere characters. These characters make up my tiny tiny church, which doesn't even have a building and so meets in the local high school, and I love those people with all my heart for several reasons.
A while back I left the church for college, realized I wasn't a believer and didn't want to be. As time went by I met a Palestinian man I moved in with and with whom went to a mosque in Minneapolis. Now I'm pregnant, and after a long conversation with my dad, and I moved back home with him and my mom.
My dad is the pastor of the church. Everyone at that tiny church knows who I am and knows that I'm pregnant. The reaction I got was just pure love. Pure love. My mother was telling me about a woman in my church shopping at a department store that had maternity clothes on sale. She called my mom to see what size I was. I don't even know her that well. Nobody shuns me. They all pray for me.
And I think the reason is because most didn't grow up as Christians. And they show great great patience to those who aren't, because they know God changes hearts, not man.
In the Bible study that I attend, I think three people out of eight are believers. Everyone there was invited by a believer.
I wish you could see it.
Posted by: Leyla M. at August 23, 2007 03:58 PMThanks for the story Anthony.
Posted by: Julio at August 23, 2007 06:26 PM